I was playing basketball with my 10 year old son the other day, he was struggling to get the ball in the hoop, failing time and time again. I heard him saying “I can’t do this.”
We’ve all said that to ourselves a million times. “I can’t.”
My son is quite short, it’s unlikely he’s going to be in the MBA. But he does need to believe in himself.
I talked to him about that negative voice in his head, to recognise it and replace those words “I can’t” with “I can”.
There are all sorts of negative voices in our life. Sometimes these can be right there in our homes. If not there, they’re sure to be at school and social media.
We all need someone in our lives who believes in us no matter what!
Being that person not only means remaining positive, but also allowing your child to make mistakes, feel disappointment, and struggle to complete some tasks on their own. Whilst also being with them to help them process their big feelings, learn patience and stay positive.
It means being a role model, picking yourself back up when you get knocked down and remaining positive about the future.
Craig Groeschel in his book; Winning the war in your mind, asks: “How about you? What negative questions did you take away from your childhood? What unhealthy and destructive conclusions have you come to believe about yourself and your place in the world?”
He goes onto say: “Who you are today is a result of your thoughts in the past. Who you become in the future will reflect what you think about today.”
What’s your child’s inner-voice saying today?
Making time to look out for negative self-talk can be a challenge as a parent. We’ll only have moments of getting it right, and we shouldn’t beat ourselves up about this. We will likely be struggling ourselves with our own negativity. But here’s a tip to start:
We can make our homes a place where there’s at least one person who believes in them and is with them when they make mistakes or get knocked down.
We can prepare them to be resilient by encouraging and allowing them to live just outside of their comfort zone, to step into challenge without being afraid of making mistakes but being with them when they do.
We can hold a bright vision for their future and remember that we all want someone who believes in us, no matter what.