We all want our homes to be safe.
When we hear “safe” we think physical safety – and that’s critical.
But what we really want is a place to be ourselves.
To make mistakes.
To fail.
And to be loved.
Imagine if our homes were that kind of safe.
Most parents expect their teens to hate them.
But, teens don’t hate safe places.
They just know how to push all the wrong buttons.
In response – It’s easy to yell and say all the wrong things.
When this happens, a place is kept safe when we circle back around and repair the relationship.
First, we have to find calm
Then we get beside.
Then we say sorry.
We say sorry, not just by saying sorry, but by talking through how we reacted badly and discussing how things could have been better.
We close the circle, not when we feel heard, but when the child feels understood.
It’s much simpler when kids are young. They just need safe and available arms to run to when they’re hurt.
The challenge, is to remain a safe place to run to – even as our children age.